Title: Moment of Truth

Rating: R for language

Warnings: Hardcore angst ahead! I mean, hardcore! And HIV/AIDS, if that squicks you, don't read...

Summary: A confession, confusion, and a decision. (I'm crap at these)

Author's Notes: This has come from a rabid plot bunny, and lots of depressing soft rock music. I wanted to write something involving HIV/AIDS, I think it's such an interesting concept.



“You’re such a prude, Potter.” Draco smiled playfully as he snuggled closer to his boyfriend on the couch.

Harry sighed, “Actually, I’m not…”

Draco scoffed, “Yes, you are. Every time we start to get hot and heavy, you push me away and tell me you’re not ready. That sounds pretty prudish to me…” The blond chuckled lightly, as he stroked Harry’s face gently.

Harry clasped Draco’s hand, and held it in his own. He stared down at their entwined hands and sighed again, “I… I have to tell you something, Draco. What I’m going to say, well, it’s more than likely going to end everything. I mean, I’ll understand if you don’t want to continue a relationship with me, but I have to tell you the truth, before, well…”

Draco stared at his boyfriend in bemusement, “What are you going on about, Harry?”

Harry looked at the blond and smiled sadly, “That my past will continue to haunt me no matter how far I try to run…”

Draco gave Harry a confused smile, “Huh?”

“I found out a year ago. I know I should have told you when we first got together a month ago, but I just wanted to not think about it, you know? Pretend it wasn’t real. I was stupid and careless and…”

“Harry, do you have a point?”

“I’m sorry. It’s just; it’s so hard to say. I’m not even sure if I’ve said it out loud yet…”

Draco sighed in frustration, “Potter, just spit it out!”

“I’m positive, Draco…”

“You’re what?”

“HIV positive.”

Draco just stared at Harry, “I don’t understand.”

“You… You don’t know about HIV, or AIDS?”

“What are those?”

Harry shook his head in disbelief. He had never realized just how little Draco knew of muggles and their culture.

“They’re diseases, Draco. Well, HIV is the virus that eventually mutates into AIDS…”

Draco chuckled, “So, go see a medi-wizard and get cured…”

Harry sighed, “Umm, Draco, it’s not that simple. It’s a… Well, it’s a muggle disease. It’s not something that can be cured with magic. Actually, well… There is no cure…”

Draco furrowed his brow as he shook his head, “But… You look healthy.”

Harry started to fidget his hands nervously. The two of them had separated from each other some time during the explanation, “Well, that’s kind of how it works. I could go several years before I get sick, especially if I take the medication.”

“So, there’s nothing to worry about then, right?”

Harry shook his head solemnly, “No, Draco. I’ll… It’s that… I’m… I’ll die from this, eventually. It slowly kills your t-cells, they’re what, well, they basically fight infections when you get sick. Without them, a simple cold could restrict you to a bed.”

Draco covered his frowning mouth with his hand, and stared thoughtfully at a random spot, “So, this is a disease, that will kill you several years from now and it has no cure?”

Harry nodded.

“How did you get it? How did this happen?”

Harry breathed deeply, trying to stop his voice from breaking, “It’s a sexually transmitted disease, Draco…”

The blond’s eyes widened, “Excuse me?”

Harry stared at his trousers, avoiding all possible eye contact with his boyfriend, “A sexually transmitted disease is… Well… When you…”

“Don’t patronize me!”

Harry recoiled slightly, shocked, but not surprised by Draco’s outburst of anger.

“I may not know much about muggles. I may not know acronyms for deadly diseases, but I can pretty much gather what ‘sexually transmitted disease’ means. Why would you do that? Why would you fuck someone with such a disease?!”

“I didn’t know he had it, Draco. I know I should have used protection…”

“Protection?”

“Condoms…”

Draco stared at Harry in angered confusion, “Obviously another fucking muggle thing I don’t understand!”

Harry stumbled over his words. He racked his brain to try and explain, “Condoms are, well… They’re made of a type of rubber, and you put it on your prick, and it’s supposed to stop you from, well, coming in someone else…”

A solitary tear ran down Draco’s cheek. He wiped it away angrily, “Am I going to get this?”

“Oh, Draco…” Harry moved to grasp the blond’s hand, to reassure him in some small way, but Draco pulled his hand back and moved further away from Harry.

“You can’t get it from casual contact, Draco. It’s only through blood and bodily fluids. It’s not like a cold. You won’t catch it…”

“You’re too fucking right, I won’t!” Draco got up and grabbed his coat. He approached the door, then stopped and turned around, “Why, Harry? If you could have used protection, why didn’t you?”

Harry sighed, “I… I didn’t think it could happen to me…”

Fiery anger flickered in his silver eyes, “You stupid, fucking prat! Everything ALWAYS happens to you! What? Did you think that because you were the boy who fucking lived, that nothing else could harm you?! How could you be so fucking presumptuous?!”

Harry got up and glared at Draco, keeping the couch between them by not moving any closer, “Don’t you think I already know that? Trust me; I’m kicking myself everyday for being so completely fucking stupid! All I’ve ever wanted was to be normal! That’s all! And now I never fucking can! I need to forget sometimes! I need to forget that I’ll never have a normal life! I can NEVER have kids, and not because I’m queer. Because I have this deadly thing inside of me! A good relationship is hard to find already, but try adding this disease to the fucking mix! Don’t lecture me on presumptuousness and stupidity, Draco, because I already fucking know!”

Tears were running furiously down Harry’s cheeks.

Draco was shaking slightly, but he somehow managed to put up a calm façade “Stop the pity party, Potter. Don’t be angry with the world because YOU fucked up.”

“Goddamn it, Draco! It’s not self-pity! I’ve done enough of that for six lifetimes! I’m not being melancholy, or fucking Maudlin, I’m being realistic! That’s the reality of the situation! That’s just how it is.”

There was an awkward silence for a few moments, and then Harry continued, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. You’ll never know how truly sorry I am, but it was nice. Even if it was only for a few weeks, it was nice to pretend to be normal.”

The Gryffindor slumped back down onto the couch, took off his glasses and started rubbing his eyes. He was startled by the gentle grasp upon his shoulder. Draco crouched before him and looked him in the eyes.

He sighed, “You were never going to be normal, Harry. Even if you were straight, even if you weren’t infected with HIV, even if you weren’t the boy who lived, you never would have been normal…”

Draco stroked Harry’s cheek; it was the first form of tenderness between them since his confession. Draco could no longer hold the tears back, “I wish I could kiss you, but I’m frightened. I don’t understand, I don’t think I want to. It’s just… I’ve spent too many years being the frightened one in a relationship, Harry. I don’t want to live like that anymore, and that’s what this would be for me. If I stayed, I’d always be frightened. Frightened whether I’ll get it. Frightened that every time you sneeze or cough, that you’ll get really sick.

You understand, don’t you? I can’t, Harry. I just can’t. I’m sorry. I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m sorry that I don’t know anything about this, I mean, if I did, it would probably be easier. I’m sorry I’m not brave enough to work this out. But it’s better you know, that you understand now, before we would have gotten too far. Before there were chocolates, and holidays, and mid-morning shagging, and passion and ‘I Love You-s’. Before it was too late…”

Harry could no longer speak; he just nodded his head in solemn understanding. Draco kissed Harry on the cheek before standing back up.

He had never heard more heartbreaking sounds than those of the blond’s retreating footsteps, and the tentative closing of the door.

“Too late…” Harry muttered as he clutched his chest. He never knew that heart ache was in fact, a literal term. He thought he would be prepared with any decision Draco would make. He thought he could handle any type of horrific break-up. But in those weeks of disillusionment, in which he started to imagine a normal life, a normal relationship, with a normal future, he fell. He fell damn hard.

“Too fucking late…”


The End.

Author's Notes part two!: I thought it would be interesting to write a situation in which a grown man has no idea what HIV/AIDS is. H/D was the perfect premise. If you didn't hate this, Gimme <3s!